Pet Food

 Spytt Shyn: The Jewelry Cleaner for Man Jewelry

When one thinks of jewelry, one almost never thinks of man jewelry. Usually what comes to mind is thoughts of gold & diamonds, a sterling silver charm bracelet, or perhaps even a mystic fire topaz ring. These things are not manly or masculine in the least. But men can have man jewelry, and when they wear such jewelry, which has been cleansed by jewelry cleaner, men everywhere can feel strong and confident in the knowledge that they have enough testosterone available to crush all other men.



One of the most important aspects of man jewelry is that it must be cleansed, but not overly cleansed, so as to appear to be rough and practical, of audacious and overly flamboyant in its application. For this one must use the appropriate jewelry cleaner. A man cannot expect to get a nice masculine assertive shine on his man jewelry that one would get from the jewelry cleaner used to polish a mystic fire topaz ring.



But does such a jewelry cleaner exist? A cleanser that is truly capable of highlighting the masculine aspects of man jewelry while at the same time eliminating the feminine ones? Of course it does! Have you never heard of Spytt Shyn? You haven’t? That’s an outrage!



Spytt Shyn was developed by the great people at The Most Manliest & Most Masculinest of Men Inc. (TMMMMMI for short)They had noticed that using spit as a jewelry cleaner was preferred over the leading commercial product 116 times to one. They also noticed however, that some men in careers that required levels of perspiration (lumberjack, landscaper, construction worker, librarian, etc.) did not want to spit for fear of dehydration. These men often had large rings and chains about their neck that would go for weeks without a good spit shine.



This was a travesty! There were lumberjacks and librarians abounding all over the world with unpolished man jewelry lying around. And all for lack of a good jewelry cleaner.



The folks at TMMMMMI decided that something had to be done. A good man jewelry polish, or jewelry cleaner, was needed in the world. They went to work, chemically replicating the qualities of spit: dirt solubility, sheen, & odor efficacy. The resulting product, Spytt Shyn, was a jewelry cleaner exactly like spit in all ways, except that Spytt Shyn is stored in a nice masculine bottle made of the roughest of woods, leathers, and chunks of metal.